Milk machine

My breast pump failed last week. It has had a good run. More than a year for Q and almost nine months for R. I boiled parts of it because I was noticing some mildew forming. After that, it just wasn't working. Such a bummer, since that top-of-the-line sucker from Medela was about $300. I did without it for a few days, but was running out of milk for the baby and getting uncomfortably full of milk at work.

I got a $50 model from Evenflo. It is not as good. It is hard to put together and a little unwieldy, but the worst part is the noise. It is so loud. I feel especially like a cow when I use this one.

I pump milk every afternoon around 4:15. I have a little chair and stool set up in the roomy handicap bathroom stall. Conveniently and oddly, there is an outlet in there. I was so nervous about the prospect of pumping when I first began when Q was 10 weeks old, and I went back to work. I was embarrassed and hoped no one would come in the bathroom. After several months, everyone got used to the familiar swooshing sound, and I would shout conversations over the stall walls to other girls doing their makeup at the mirror.

Now I am kind of embarrassed again. It is just so loud and mechanical sounding. I feel very conspicuous. I am such a supporter of breastfeeding and am so pleased I am able to pump milk for when I can't breastfeed, but it will always be an odd thing to me. Having a child and then breastfeeding him reminds you that you are really just a mammal. Pumping makes you feel distinctly bovine.

--MM