Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Baby school

Q had his first day of baby school today. An educator from the Early Childhood Services came to our house. She came ten minutes early, which I hate. What can't people have the decency to be late? Q was in the shower with T, so I whisked Q out and got him ready while the woman sat in his nursery. T almost came out into the hall in only his socks. Oops! That would have been awkward. But amusing.

She watched Q and asked me questions and wrote up a report. She gave me advice about how to encourage him to walk and to increase his language skills. It was all a lot to take in, but I think I will be able to start to use little bits and pieces. I don't think most parents have to work this hard at it. I think most kids just kind of figure it out on their own. Maybe I'm wrong. This is my first time around, so I am always just guessing. We'll see how Q does. The teacher will come to our house every week or two and work with him. It certainly can't hurt.

I was realizing today, that I really like working. It seems like most moms I know either stay at home with their kids or wish they did. I really don't feel that way. Granted, if I had all the money in the world, I probably wouldn't work and would lay on a beach somewhere being fanned. But, despite all the annoyances, frustrations, and sleep deprivation, I genuinely like work.

A friend and her two sons came over yesterday, and I made lunch. The boys tore the house apart. We had a nice morning, but I was completely ready to take Q to daycare and go on to work. My friend would just go home for more of the same. That would just not make me happy. I even started to get a little restless and down on my maternity leave. I know myself, and I know that is just not my strength. Some women are born to be mothers and that is their gift. I am not one of them. I think I make a good mom, but I just need more to feel fulfilled. I almost feel guilty sometimes when I talk about that to people. It seems like I should say I have no choice but to work. That I wish I could stay home full time. It certainly supports the lifestyle we want to lead by having two incomes, but I mostly work because I choose to. And I think I am lucky to know that.

--MM

1 comment:

julie said...

You're not alone in needing more than motherhood to be fulfilled. I would go totally crazy if I were a stay-at-home mom. I feel bad about it sometimes and I certainly don't admit it freely... but, yeah. I need to work, too.

 

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