Sleepless nights

In some ways I feel like I have really had it together the last few days. I haven't panicked when Q went through one of his many meltdowns. I have gotten a lot done including two early morning appointments with two tiny boys in tow. I have eaten well and exercised. But, now I am having some major concerns about T's new job and how it fits into our life. He has these concerns as well. It will include a fair amount of travel. I work till midnight, so that makes finding supplemental childcare a challenge and a large extra expense. Plus, I will be on my own on those days. That means very long days at home and at work. It gives me a bit of a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it.

It all starts next week when he has his first four-day business trip. One of the days I am actually working to cover the primary election. That means I will be awake much of the night with a six-week old, waking up early with a two-year-old, juggling childcare providers during the day and evening, and working for nine hours as well. Just the thought of it exhausts me. I hope we are making the right decision, and I think in the long run we are, but it sure is going to be a rough year or so.

---------------------

Q had a doctor's appointment this morning and is getting tall and skinny. He weighs 27 pounds and is 3 feet tall. R is also filling out nicely, though he is battling an unfortunate case of baby acne right now. Poor little man. He was wide awake for hours last night. I think my four cups of coffee may be to blame. I am now taking the difficult step of scaling back my caffeine intake. It's a vicious cycle.

Here are the many moods of R:

--MM